


Dark and Dawn

by ArchangelEquinox



Series: Once More to the Breach [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cullen Smut, Cullenlingus, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hand Jobs, Literal Sleeping Together, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Skyhold, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-09 15:24:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5545061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchangelEquinox/pseuds/ArchangelEquinox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor, in a wildly sleep-deprived state, decides to visit the Commander in the middle of the night.  What could go wrong?</p><p>Ch 2 = NSFW :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dark of Night

            The air was uncharacteristically warm when Talia stepped out onto her oversized balcony.  Skyhold slept around her, and yet sleep eluded her.  She'd tried everything she could think of: counting nugs, reading a dreadfully boring history of the Tevinter Chantry from Dorian, even doing push-ups in an effort to wear herself out.  Nothing was working. 

            So she'd given up.  It had been days since she'd slept well, and still nothing was working.  Now she stood on the balcony, watching the stars over Skyhold and wondering just how, exactly, she was going to get to sleep. 

            Below her, little moved.  A guard on patrol here, someone drunk stumbling out of the tavern there -- that was it.  The fortress itself was quiet, its wards instilling its walls with a deep sense of peace that she did not seem able to catch at this late hour. 

            If she were honest, she had been hoping it was snowing outside.  She was sick of looking at the stars and sick of watching clouds dump snow and thunderstorms on the mountains around them, all the while avoiding her home.  Storms had always been her favorite type of weather; she loved the soothing sounds of rain against roofs, the roll of thunder, the gentle patter of falling snow.  The same wards that kept Skyhold quiet and peaceful also kept away the mountains' storms, or so Solas had told her. 

            She hated it. 

            With a deep sigh, Talia leaned against the railing.  She didn't hate it, not really.  She just missed the change that thunderstorms brought, the deep cleansing they gave the world around her.  That, and it was close to two in the morning, and she was cranky with lack of sleep.  

            A light in the castle below caught her eye, and she heaved another sigh.  Cullen was still up, the candles in his tower flickering through the windows.  No doubt he was hard at work on something less than essential in these wee morning hours.  The man might have the appearance of a god and the mind of a scholar, but she'd found that he lacked the same basic instincts as much of the rest of humanity -- like the drives to eat or sleep unless absolutely necessary.   He forgot everything when he worked. 

            It was something that, in the daylight, she greatly admired about him, especially given that she pretty much avoided all written reports unless Josephine locked her in her office and forced her to work. 

            In the dark of night however, and to her sleep-deprived mind, Cullen's workaholic habits were more than a little grating. 

            It didn't take more than two seconds of thought for her to decide to go have a chat with him.  Her thought process was less specific, something along the lines of _that Maker-forsaken bastard better not be playing with guard rotations or writing a fucking to-do list when I get down there!_

            She hated Cullen's "To Do" lists. 

            She grabbed her leggings as she stormed through her quarters, shimmying into them as she searched for her boots.  They were nowhere in sight, of course, and she quickly gave up, opting instead to run across Skyhold in her stocking feet.  There would be no one awake to notice except Cullen anyway, and he had no grounds to stand on with the lecture that was coming to him. 

            No part of her sleep-addled brain thought that perhaps this visit was less than a stellar idea. 

            The thin tank top she wore proved colder than she was expecting as she slipped through Skyhold's dark halls.  Back on her balcony, the warm breeze had just kissed her skin, raising the smallest of goosebumps, but that warmth hadn't seeped into the stone of the castle.  Instead, it was huge and drafty, just as a castle should be, but this appropriateness was lost on Talia.  She grumbled as she skirted through the Great Hall, rubbing her bare arms as she went. 

            Solas must have been sleeping elsewhere, for he was absent from his rotunda when she passed.  Not that it surprised her -- Solas often slept in unusual places to study the Fade, she knew -- and she was glad no one would witness her creeping into her Commander's office in the dead of night.  She and Cullen weren't overly quiet about their budding relationship, not after Adamant and the desperation of her disappearance there, but Josephine had asked them to keep it within the Inquisition until after Halamshiral next month.  For propriety's sake, she'd said.  Cullen had of course latched onto that notion, opting to avoid her quarters outside 'appropriate' hours despite Talia's assurances that she didn't care two nugs about propriety. 

            And she still didn't, though she did press herself into the shadows to avoid a passing guard on the breezeway to the Commander's office.  If Cullen cared about them being quiet, she was willing to try.  She couldn't guarantee how successful she'd be -- she'd been good at being quiet once upon a time in her life before the Breach, but since becoming the Herald of Andraste and the Inquisitor, she had finally felt safe enough to live her life in the open.  Dorian, Iron Bull, and Sera had encouraged this behavior, much to Talia's (occasionally drunken) delight, and Josephine's chagrin. 

            Then the door to Cullen's office was in sight, and Talia forgot all about her adventures with her tavern-going friends in favor of scolding her Commander. 

            She crept forward until she was just in front of the door and pondered how best to make her entrance.  Should she creep in and surprise him?  Climb the tower and drop into his loft?  Maybe she should just throw the door open and announce herself, bare feet, tank top, and all. 

            That seemed like the best option.  After all this time in the Inquisition, she still didn't know how Cullen felt about surprises.  And if he was working on something valuable -- the letters to the families of those they'd lost at Adamant were nearly finished, but perhaps that was what was keeping him up -- she didn't want him to ruin it with a spilled inkwell or errant quill stroke.   She also knew that he hadn't yet let her see his loft since the start of their relationship; she'd been up there with Sera before, of course, and she was sure little had changed, but she wanted to respect his boundaries. 

            Throwing open the door and announcing herself it was. 

            She tugged the hem of her shirt, yanking it down to cover the line of skin between it and her leggings, and ran her hands over her hair in a failed attempt to smooth it down.  For just a moment, she wished she'd taken a second to comb it, or perhaps actually locate her boots, but too late! 

            She threw the door open with much more enthusiasm than she'd been intending, and it crashed into the stone of the tower walls. 

            Before her, Cullen jerked up from his desk and toppled his chair backwards with an equally loud crash. 

            "Oh shit!' She yelped and ran forward to help him up.  He'd been asleep at his desk, the candles burning down around him. 

            "Inquisitor! What's wrong!" He shouted as he tried to right himself, his stupid breastplate weighing him down as he struggled with the upturned chair.  "What's happened!" 

            Talia yanked ineffectually at the chair, trying to get it out of his way.  "Maker, Cullen, I'm so sorry!"  She apologized over and over as she grabbed for him, though he swatted her away each time.  By the time he managed to stand, Talia was hovering over him like a bee over a flower, flitting this way and that trying to right tiny wrongs in his office.  The quill he'd dropped as he fell asleep.  The parchment that had crumbled under his arms as he lay down on the desk.  The candle dripping wax onto the pile of reports he'd put off. 

            "Inquisitor,"  he said, grabbing her arm as she moved.  "What's going on?" 

            Talia stared at him, wide-eyed, and froze.  "Cullen, I'm so sorry.  I saw the light and assumed you were awake, and I couldn't sleep so I came over, and then when I burst in--"  She realized she was rambling and closed her mouth abruptly in the middle of her sentence.  Cullen stared at her, his eyebrows raised toward his mussed hair and the questions obvious on his face. 

            "Why aren't you asleep?" 

            She bit her lip.  "Couldn't fall asleep," she admitted, folding and unfolding her hands.  Based on his expression, she must have looked a little crazed.  "And couldn't find my boots."  She gestured down at her bare feet and watched Cullen's eyes slowly shift over her form, finally landing on her toes. 

            "I see," was all he said, and she blushed. 

            "This was a bad idea."  She tugged at the hem of her shirt again.  "You were asleep! I'm so sorry, I know you don't get much sleep, and I interrupted, and then you fell--" She was rambling again and rolled her lips together, offering a smile that couldn't have looked any more sleep-deprived if she'd tried. 

            Cullen stepped very, very close to her, his body looming over hers, and took her bare shoulders in his hands.  "Talia," he said, very slowly.  "Are you all right?" 

            She shook her head much faster than necessary, still biting her lip to keep from laughing. 

            "I thought as much." 

            The concern on his face, though overwhelming in its sincerity, did not mesh well with the curls breaking free from his carefully combed style, nor with the dust that had mixed into the furry collar of his coat.  He must have fallen asleep on something he'd been writing as well, the careful loops of his handwriting imprinted on his cheekbone from his desk, and the tiniest crust of drool was drying in the corner of his mouth. 

            Talia couldn't help it -- she burst out laughing, her hands coming up to cover her mouth as she shook in his arms.  Cullen stared at her, concern being outweighed by surprise and not a little bit of aggravation.  Her laughing continued, near-hysterical, and when she was unable to catch her breath, Cullen folded her against his chest. 

            "Talia, dear," he murmured into her ear. "I think you need some sleep." 

            Her face lit up. "Sleep! Yes, that's a great idea! I like sleep!"  She ducked out from the circle of his arms and sprinted to his ladder.  It shook as she vaulted up its rungs, leaving Cullen behind looking shocked. 

            "Talia…?"  His voice carried up the ladder to her, but she'd frozen as soon as she stepped onto the rickety planks of his loft. 

            Everything around her was so meticulous: the crisp lines of the blanket on the bed, the careful arrangement of candles and books on his dresser, and the folded laundry atop a tiny chest of drawers.  Everything in the room screamed of the careful nature of her military man, and yet she felt so utterly out of control that she wanted to mess it all up. 

            _Maker I need sleep…_ The thought didn't process overly well, and within seconds she'd thrown herself onto Cullen's bed and bundled herself up in the blanket.  Below her, she could hear Cullen moving around, no doubt carefully removing his armor and desperately hoping she'd calm if he gave her some space. 

            The icy cold of the bed was helping with that, actually, and Talia felt her heart rate slow from its earlier rush.  She flopped from one side of the bed to the other chasing the chilly feel of the sheets, and only froze when she heard Cullen start to climb the ladder.  Wiggling, she pushed herself as flat as she could go, almost like she was hiding from him -- the remaining rational part of her brain, the only bit unaffected by sleep deprivation, whispered that this was silly, but the rest of her shook with mirth. 

            The giggles she'd been trying to suppress erupted when Cullen reached the top of the ladder and stuck his head into the room. 

            "Talia?"  He called, and she barely heard him over the sound of her laughter.  From his position, he couldn't see her on the bed, and this delighted her.  Again she heard him climb the ladder, and then his footsteps creaked through the loft.  The bed shifted under his weight, and she let herself roll toward him, giggling all the while. 

            "Hello there," he said, and she felt a warm hand rest against her shoulder.  "Are you all right?"  She shook her head violently under the covers, and then popped out from under them. 

            "Hi!" she said cheerfully, and she watched as Cullen fought the smile that spread over his handsome features.  A matching grin was splashed across her own. 

            "I'm going to bed," Cullen informed her, his amber eyes bright with mirth.  "Will you be joining me?"  The teasing in his voice hid the concern she knew was there, and Talia tried to shake herself back to sense. 

            "Sure!"  She chirped, sitting up, and Cullen shifted to take off his boots.  "I mean, are you sure? I'm here, yes, but I can always go, and I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep anyway, and--" 

            "Talia," he interrupted, his back to her, and she froze mid-sentence. 

            "Yes?" 

            "You need sleep," he repeated, and she nodded rather frantically.  Hesitantly, she reached out to touch his shoulder, and he glanced at her. 

            "Cullen?" 

            "Yes?"  He paused in his efforts to unlace his boots. 

            "Can I stay here, with you?"  She tugged the blanket up to her chin as she spoke, giving him her best sleep-deprived puppy dog eyes. 

            Cullen's scar twitched hard before he composed himself.  "Will you sleep if you're here?"  He asked, his voice far more serious than his growing smirk suggested. 

            "Yes?" 

            "Then you can stay," he told her, and went back to his boots. 

            "Thank you!" She threw herself back onto the mattress, bouncing slightly, and watched Cullen get himself ready for bed.  He moved carefully around the loft, setting his boots beside his laundry and splashing some water on his face.  Keeping his back to her, he fisted his hand in the material of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one motion.  The muscles of his back rippled as he ran a hand through his hair, curls breaking free of his careful styling, and she sucked in a breath.  She'd been near him plenty of times without a shirt, but usually when they were sparring… and never in so intimate a setting. 

            Then the Commander of the Inquisition gave his shirt a questionable sniff and recoiled, dropping it into his laundry with a disgusted grunt.  The tension in her broke, and Talia couldn’t help her giggle. 

            He glanced at her then, and blushed.

            "I … um…" 

            "You're adorable," Talia blurted before she could stop herself, and it was her turn to blush.  Thankfully, Cullen smiled. 

            Then he approached the bed, one hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.  "Um… Talia, I…"  He didn’t seem to know where to begin, but that didn’t matter much, as Talia's attention was caught by the fine dusting of golden hair that spread across his chest, narrowing into a trail that led down toward his breeches.  Her gaze traveled along that line before bouncing back up his abdomen to meet his eyes. 

            "Sorry," she muttered sheepishly, and her blush matched Cullen's.  "You were saying something? And I wasn't listening, which is my bad, but I mean really, you have only yourself to blame, what with that body, and--"  Her eyes went wide as she realized what she'd said, and she bit her lip in such a hurry that she drew blood.

            Cullen stared at her.

            "Sorry again," she breathed from behind clenched hands, her eyes still wide.  "I'll be good." 

            He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently pried one of her hands off her mouth.  "Talia," he said quietly.  "I'd like you to stay, and I'm not trying to rush anything.  But I usually sleep in just my, um, my smalls, and you're making that a little hard." 

            She snorted, and Cullen blushed again.  "Maker's breath," he groaned, rolling his eyes.  "You know what I mean." 

            Talia took a deep breath, trying to calm herself again.  "Sorry," she repeated, though her tone was much more serious than before.  "Um, yes, that's fine.  I want you to be comfortable." 

            Cullen studied her for a moment before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers.  She gave a squeak of surprise before melting against him, her arms coming up to loop around his neck.  One of Cullen's hands drifted to her back and pulled her in tight, her breasts pressed against his bare chest with only the thin barrier of her tank top between them.  She could feel her nipples tighten with arousal as heat rolled off his body.  His tongue licked into her mouth, and she caught it with hers, sucking hard and eliciting a groan from deep in his chest.  His grip on her tightened, and she pushed against him, trying to get closer.  She shifted up, the blankets falling off her lower body, and wrapped a leg around his waist.  One hand slid down to her ass and pulled her into his lap, the hard ridge of his erection brushing her core through her leggings.  Her hips rolled, and Cullen made a desperate noise into her mouth.  Eager to hear it again, Talia moved once more, and Cullen caught her hip in his hand, stilling her movements. 

            He pulled away, panting, and pressed his forehead against hers.  "We're supposed to be sleeping," he gasped, and Talia couldn't help the disappointed noise she made. 

            "You were the one who asked to take his pants off," she teased, nipping at his lips, but Cullen did not return the kiss.  Instead he disentangled himself from their embrace and stood, his chest still heaving. 

            "Talia, I…" He ran a hand through his hair again, and Talia couldn’t help but admire the bunching of muscles in his arm as he did so.  "You are… and I don't…"  He groaned and ran his hands over his face.  "You need sleep, and I will not take advantage of that," he finally said, not making eye contact. 

            The throbbing in Talia's core threatened her self-control, but she knew Cullen's intentions were noble.  The haze of lust faded a little, and she smiled at him.  "I don't… Yes. Sleep," she agreed lamely, unable to put her thoughts to words.  Her lack of sleep was suddenly weighing down on her, heavy and tiresome, and if she could finally rest here, with him, then whatever activities that must be put off were worth it. 

            Cullen smiled back before busying himself finding another blanket in his chest of drawers.   "It gets cold," he offered, gesturing at the hole in his roof, when Talia gave him a questioning look.  She occupied herself by spreading the blanket over the bed, and next thing she knew, Cullen was tucking himself in beside her, having shed his trousers when she wasn't looking. 

            "Sneaky," she laughed, raising an eyebrow, and he shrugged as he tried to hide his smirk. 

            "What can I say," he teased. "Tactics."  He lay on his back, one hand tucked behind his head, and Talia rolled over to rest her head on his chest.  She adjusted the blankets over them with one hand, and Cullen's fingertips dragged over her shoulder as she fumbled.  Finally they were both covered and warm, but Talia still couldn't bring herself to close her eyes. 

            She walked her hand around Cullen's chest, fingers tangling in his chest hair and drawing tiny designs into his skin.  One nail lightly scratched over his nipple and he flinched, lifting his head to give her a look.  Her best innocent smile greeted his gaze, and he rolled his eyes.  With a sigh, he dropped his head back onto his pillow. 

            Talia dropped her lips to his skin instead, planting a trail of kisses along the hard lines of muscle on his chest.  Warmth spread through her body again, settling low in her belly, and she felt Cullen shift the tiniest bit under her ministrations.  She kept right on going, fingers trailing along behind her lips.  When she reached his abs, she flicked her tongue lightly against him, and he groaned.  His hand dropped down to pull her chin back up to his chest, effectively ending her teasing.  

            "Sleep, Talia," he said, not opening his eyes, and Talia reluctantly withdrew, balling herself up on the other side of the bed.  She resisted the urge to pout; she had promised she'd sleep, after all, and Cullen was being a perfect gentleman despite her attempts to distract him. 

            A sudden warmth against her back made her jump in surprise, and Cullen's arm wrapped around her waist. 

            "I said sleep," he murmured into her hair. "Not leave."  He nuzzled against her, his lips pressing a warm kiss to the skin just below her ear, and she stretched out against him.  His arm pulled her flush against his chest, and he threw a leg over her hip.  Talia wiggled just a bit, feeling his arousal through his smalls, and once more she had to resist the lust simmering in her veins.  Instead, she canted her hips so his groin was no longer pressed against her before threading her fingers through his. 

            "Cullen?" 

            "Hm?"  His voice was thick with sleep. 

            "Thank you for letting me stay."  She felt his lips curl into a smile against her skin, and he kissed her neck gently before adjusting his head on the pillow.    

            "Always," he breathed, and they fell asleep. 


	2. The Light of Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More plot than porn, I admit, but still NSFW.

            Early morning sunlight streamed through the gaping hole in Cullen's roof.  The air was fresh, still crisp from the night's cold, and a dawn breeze ruffled through the tree that was growing down into the Commander's quarters.  Talia stared up at the sky through that hole, pondering the pinks and golds intermixed with the clouds as the sun rose. 

            At some point she must have slept.  She recalled Cullen curling behind her, pulling her close before dropping into a heavy slumber.  Her own eyes had grown tired, and a span of time was blessedly blank when she must have succumbed to the Fade.

            Not anymore. 

            The moment the sun had risen, its tendrils just brushing the tower around her, Talia's mind had sprung into awakening, her eyes unable to close and her limbs moving restlessly as she tried to force herself back to sleep. 

            It wasn't working. 

            Beside her, Cullen slept on, oblivious.  She had long heard rumors of the night terrors that plagued him; his screams were a whispered legend among the soldiers, and the guard patrols gave his tower a wide berth in the dark of night.  Even Varric had once come to her with concerns for Cullen's well-being after being woken from the keep. 

            Lying next to him now, Talia wondered if perhaps those nightmares were what kept Cullen from sleeping in her bed, or inviting her to sleep in his.  They had spent many an evening together, but Cullen always excused himself when the hour grew too late, citing impropriety and long hours of work awaiting him on the morrow.  He didn't want to burden her with worry for him, and she knew that he tried to keep his demons from affecting his waking life.  If she'd visited in a less sleep-deprived state last night, she might have been apprehensive about sleeping beside him. 

            She needn't have worried.  Whether due to her presence beside him or just sheer exhaustion, Cullen had slept peacefully -- even if he did snore a bit.   Talia rolled herself over, brushing her messy hair aside, and studied his sleeping features. 

            He lay on his stomach, his face mashed into his pillow.  One arm hung off the far side of the bed, the other twisted under him.  Just like the night before, there was drool crusted in the corner of his mouth, his scar quirking his lips the tiniest bit open.  The blankets had slipped from his shoulders, pooling in the small of his back.  If she tried, she could just see his toes poking out from under the blanket down at the foot of the bed. 

            She smiled, watching him.  She couldn't remember a time she'd so enjoyed waking up next to a man, but then again, she'd never woken up next to a man like Cullen. 

            A tiny snore rippled through the air then, and she stifled a giggle.  Her fingertips moved of their own accord, reaching out to brush a messy curl back from his face.  He made a small noise and moved, rolling over in his sleep and leaving Talia behind. 

            She watched his shoulders gradually rise and fall with his breath before smiling again.   Tossing her corner of the blankets aside, she went in search of a glass of water.  The washbasin on his dresser had a glass beside it, and Talia was grateful to find it still half-filled with cool water.  She swished it around her mouth quickly, hoping the worst of her morning breath was gone, before shimmying out of her leggings and sliding back into the bed.  

            All it took was a few quiet minutes of her not falling back asleep for Talia to realize that she was awake for good. 

            Cullen, however, was still out. 

            She made an exasperated noise into her pillow before rolling over and snuggling herself up against his back.  He made another noise and moved just enough for her to slide her leg between his.  Pressing a kiss into his shoulder, she slung one arm around his waist and pulled herself closer to him.  With her second kiss, she felt his muscles tense beneath her touch, and realized he was waking up. 

            She didn't quite feel guilty, despite the early hour, but scooted back from him anyway. 

            "Talia?"  He groaned out, rolling onto his back.  "You're awake?"  He rubbed his eyes sleepily.  Beside him, Talia giggled at the way the blankets tented around his morning condition.  "What's so funny?"  He grumbled out before realizing, and, blushing hard, he scrambled to hide it. 

            "It's okay," she said, still laughing.  "I'm flattered.  Really!"  She touched his back, and he made an unhappy noise, the blush spreading over his shoulders.  "Cullen, it's okay, come on," she encouraged him.  He glanced at her over his shoulder, and she held out the cup of water to him.  Enticed, he flipped to his other side and took the cup, careful to keep his hips angled down toward the bed so he didn't further embarrass himself. 

            "Thank you," he murmured when he'd drunk his fill, passing the cup back to her. 

            "You're welcome.  Thank you for letting me sleep here." 

            His eyes, still clouded with sleep, lifted to her face.  "You're, uh, welcome."  They watched each other for a long moment before Cullen cleared his throat and looked away.  "Did you, um, well, sleep well, that is, um… I…" Talia watched him fumble curiously, wondering what he was trying to get out.  His smooth words from the night before had apparently failed him in the light of day. 

            "Cullen?" 

            "Oh Maker's breath," he muttered finally and sat up abruptly.  He reached out, caught the back of her neck in his palm, and pulled her toward him, crushing his lips against hers.  Talia relaxed against him, one hand on his chest, and his other arm came up to wrap around her waist. 

            "Good morning," he said when he pulled away, keeping her close.  "I meant to ask if you slept well, though I admit I did a, uh, poor job of it." 

            "All's forgiven," she said, smiling, and leaned in to kiss him again.  He met her eagerly, and the force of him moving rocked her backward onto the bed.  Her fingertips dug into Cullen's bare shoulder as he followed, using his forearm to keep his weight from crushing her.  His free hand grasped her thigh, pulling her leg around his hips, and she rolled her hips up into his, her core brushing against his growing erection. 

            Cullen froze as if realizing their sudden position, and Talia broke their kiss. 

            "You okay?"  She said softly, her fingers tracing along his skin.  He nodded, a little too fast, and she pulled further back, her head sinking into the mattress.  "Cullen… are you sure?  We've never done anything… like this, before, and I don't want to…"

            "No, no, that's not…"  He groaned, aggravation instead of arousal, and rested his forehead against hers.  His eyes clenched shut and he made a face.   "I just… and you… I…" 

            Talia slid her hand along his cheek, her palms rasping against his stubble.  "If this is too fast, we'll stop," she offered, and Cullen's eyes slid open. 

            He studied her for a long moment, his eyes searching her face, before he rolled off her as suddenly as he'd pushed her back.  He ran his hands through his hair and down over his face, the same gesture from the night before, and heaved a sigh between clenched fingers.  Beside him, Talia sat up slowly, keeping her eyes carefully trained on the mattress and not on Cullen's bare torso nor his tented smalls. 

            She didn't know what he wanted.  They'd spent plenty of time stealing kisses or vanishing into dark corners to caress each other, but nothing in either of their quarters had ever progressed this far.  And they'd talked in vague terms about their pasts -- neither was a virgin, neither had had any real long-term relationships before, and neither was all that shy about sex.  Instead, what they both had was a long-sustained fear that neither could maintain a successful long-term relationship, and a confirmed belief that sex complicated things a little too much. 

            She wanted him, and he wanted her; that much was obvious.  But what they each wanted beyond that wasn't yet clear to the other. 

            Talia had harbored a quiet fear of telling Cullen how much he meant to her since the start of their relationship, and she didn't know how to breach that now.  She had had her fun; here, in the Inquisition, the first place she'd felt safe since she was twelve years old, she was finally ready to give something real a chance. 

            She was also ready to move on to more physical things together.  Their teasing had gone on long enough. 

            But without knowing how Cullen felt, she wasn't making a move on her own. 

            Next to her, Cullen sighed and rolled to his side.  One arm stretched out, and Talia's eyes followed its progress toward her.  When one calloused fingertip grazed her bare thigh, Cullen's eyes flickered up to hers as if asking for permission to touch her.  She gave a small nod, a slow warmth building in her chest. 

            Cullen's face lit up in a smile, and he traced delicate lines up and down her leg with his fingers.  Each pass brought him closer and closer to the fabric of her smalls.  Talia watched, her thoughts alternating between anticipation and carefully pushing down her expectations. 

            "This scares me."  His words came suddenly, almost whispered like he didn't want to admit them.  "I… I don't know how to feel."  She glanced down at his face only to see his eyes carefully averted from hers.  "Not about you, about _us_ … I've never been in…"  He traced a tiny shape that might have been a heart onto her leg with his index finger.  "I'm afraid of messing something up, ruining it… hurting you…" 

            Talia reached down and caught his fingers.  He looked up, surprised.  "I understand, Cullen."  She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back instantly.  "I'm scared too.  But… I want to give us a chance.  Remember what I told you when we first talked after you were sick?  When we first kissed?" 

            He pushed himself up beside her.  "That this is real," he answered, squeezing her fingers again.  "That it matters." 

            She nodded.  "I want to be with you." 

            "I want to be with you," he answered.  She could see the lingering ember of fear in his eyes, but so much warmth and adoration sparkled in their brown depths that she couldn't help herself; she leaned into him, her own eyes sliding shut, and his lips met hers.  The kiss started slow, hesitant, but soon gained fire as Cullen darted his tongue into her mouth, and Talia moaned, her own tongue venturing to tangle with his.  She could feel the warm slick of arousal settling in her core with each rough glide of their lips. 

            Somewhere mid-kiss, Cullen had disentangled his hand from her grasp, freeing it to glide along her bare thigh to cup her rear end.  With a grunt, he pulled her into his lap.  She couldn't help her yelp as he fell backward, pulling her down on top of him. 

            "I want you," she gasped when the need for air became too great.  "But…" 

            "We shouldn't go too fast," Cullen finished for her, his own breathing coming in heavy pants. 

            "Right," she agreed.  The throb of his erection against her thigh was hard to ignore though, and she rolled her hips once, eliciting a hiss of air from between his teeth. 

            "Does not too fast…" he panted.  "Mean I can still touch you?" 

            "Please do," she said, and a devious smirk spread across the face of the man beneath her.  He cocked an eyebrow before planting his hand firmly on her backside and flipping them, pinning her with his weight. 

            "Thank the Maker," he sighed.  His hand slithered up her body, and his fingertips brushed her nipple through her tank top.  She shivered, rolling her hips up to meet his.  Cullen groaned and ground down, gently pinching her nipple as he did.  Talia gasped, her skin suddenly feeling too tight. 

            "Let me up," she gasped out, and he backed off instantly, that fear back in his eyes.  Talia sat up with him -- only she didn't hesitate, just pulled her shirt off and grabbed his cheeks, pulling him back down.  He smiled against her lips, and she giggled. 

            "Only fair," she said between quick kisses.  "Now we're even." 

            "But I didn't get to see you," he grumbled faintly.  Talia rolled her hips up into his erection again, and the groan he gave rippled through her body like electricity.    

            "You'll have to find a way to remedy that."  Cullen took the challenge, pulling away from her lips to trail teasing open-mouthed kisses down her jaw to her neck.  One hand slipped down her skin, fingertips dragging against her, to cup her breasts, and Talia arched against him, pushing herself into his palms.  He squeezed her slowly before he wrapped his hand around to her back.  Short, blunted nails dragged red lines into the skin of her shoulder blades, and Talia cried out. 

            Cullen pulled back from her neck, concern on his face.  "I didn't hurt you, did I?"  Talia's only answer was to push herself up and catch his lower lip between hers, sucking him back in for a long, slow kiss.  He was panting by the end, his hands moving desperately to touch all of her at once.  As his other hand found her breast, he licked a slow, scalding line from her collarbone up her neck, pausing only to nip her earlobe. 

            "Can you feel how much I want you," he breathed in her ear, rolling his hips once more.  Talia gasped and writhed under him, her smalls soaked and teasing forgotten. 

            "Cullen, please," she moaned.  "Please touch me." 

            He trailed a hand down her side, twirling his fingers around her nipples before sliding down between them.  He brushed against her core, touch so light Talia almost didn't feel it.  But then one finger pulled her smalls out of the way, the others coming up to caress her lips, and it was Cullen's turn to moan. 

            "Maker, you're so wet," he gasped, his touch firmer, still teasing around her opening and never quite where she wanted it.  He planted a fierce kiss to her lips before rearing back, blazing a trail of fire down her throat.  Nipping along her collarbone, he soothed each hint of teeth with kisses, his moans and grunts never stopping until his mouth reached the valley between her breasts.  There he painted hot lines with his tongue, swirling closer to her nipple with each movement before moving to lavish attention on the other.  Talia could feel his smirk against her skin, the rasp of his stubble as he teased her. 

            Finally, his warm mouth found the peak of her breast, capturing it, and he gave the loudest moan she'd heard yet.  He darted to the other bud, his hand coming up to massage what he'd left behind.  Above him, Talia had thrown her head back, her body tracing his progress through the tendrils of heat shooting through her. 

            When he paused and pulled back, she forced herself to look up and caught him staring at her, taking in every inch of her bare skin.  She couldn't help but hold her breath, wondering what he was thinking.  Her shoulders and hips were broad -- always had been, with her height -- and her slim waist was offset by a heavy, gnarled scar across her abdomen.  She'd rather forgotten it was there in the heat of the moment, but Cullen's pause brought all that insecurity rushing back.  That scar had offset lovers in the past, its jagged line beginning under her ribs and ending its harrowing journey just under her belly button on the opposite side.  It puckered and pulled as she moved, a constant reminder of her past. 

            Cullen placed his hand on her ribcage, his thumb brushing the top of the scar. 

            "Talia…" he began, and she cringed involuntarily, knowing the question of what had happened was coming, knowing that their activities were about to be derailed in the light of cruel reality.  She looked away. 

            He repeated her name softly, his other hand moving to her waist and squeezing.  She glanced back, not wanting to maintain eye contact for too long.  There was nothing but compassion on Cullen's face, no pity or judgment, and she met his eyes. 

            "I… You are…"  He was struggling with the words, and Talia found herself desperately wishing he wouldn't tell her the scar was beautiful.  It wasn't.  There was no way around that, never had been, and she'd accepted that.  She didn't want to be lied to. 

            Cullen was still fumbling with his words, but with a quick shake of his head, he gave up.  Instead he leaned down, tongue darting out to lick his lips, and pressed a gentle kiss to the edge of the scar. 

            Talia flinched. 

            Cullen jerked back, face red and apologies already on his lips.  "I'm sorry, I couldn't figure out what to say, and I--" 

            "It's okay, Cullen," she said.  "It was just… surprising."  He froze mid-apology and confusion crossed his face, pinching his features.   "No one ever wants to look at it, let alone touch it.  I've even had past lovers..."  She trailed off, not watching to talk about other people she'd been naked with now, but Cullen's expression remained confused. 

            "But it's part of you," he said simply, and Talia felt her heart soar. 

            "Even so," she shrugged, trying to play it off as not important, but her pounding pulse said otherwise.  She was sure Cullen could hear her heartbeat, see it flying under her skin. 

            "That's…"  He shook his head, disbelief clear on his face, and rubbed the back of his neck.  "May I … that is, I'd like to…"  He glanced up at her, the scar on his lip quirking the corner of his mouth.  "Can I touch you?"  He finally asked, his thumb moving again to brush against the scar. 

            Talia couldn't answer, only nod quickly, and a true smile spread over Cullen's face.  He bent down and kissed the same place again, and this time Talia didn't flinch.  She held her breath, waiting, as Cullen kissed slowly along the raised tissue, his movements caring and gentle.  When he darted his tongue out experimentally, Talia felt a surprising flood of warmth through her chest, and when he glanced up at her for approval, she couldn't help her smile. 

            Weeks later, she would look back on this moment and realize that this was when she fell in love with her Commander, but right now she only felt more accepted than at any point in her life. 

            Then Cullen flicked his tongue into her belly button, his teasing renewed, and desire took over.  His hands slid lower, catching the top of her smalls as they skirted over her hips.  Hot kisses continued lower, Cullen ghosting his breath over her as he adjusted himself between her legs.  Her smalls were soon peeled off, and Talia was sure Cullen could see her arousal glistening on her thighs. 

            He stared at her for a moment.  Bending down, he pressed a warm kiss to the top of her mound as his hands caught under her knees.  He gave an experimental tug, smiling, and Talia pushed herself up to her elbows. 

            "Come here," he whispered when their eyes met.  Talia nodded, understanding dawning, and pushed herself to the edge of the bed.  Cullen stood as gracefully as he could, his smalls tented almost comically in the front, and she handed him a pillow.  He took it, confused, and she smirked. 

            "For your knees," she explained, and he tossed it to the floor. 

            "Thank you," he said, pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee.  His calloused hands slid up her legs, gradually pushing them apart as he knelt, and Talia shivered.  "Lie back," he whispered, his thumbs brushing against her lips as he massaged her muscles.  She complied. 

            His touches started out gentle, almost hesitant, but slowly gained confidence.  He worked his hands over her legs and ass, digging fingertips into sore muscles and pressing open-mouthed kisses to the knots he found.  He strayed toward her core, his hands brushing the sensitive skin there with feather-light softness.  Stubble rasped across her inner thighs as Cullen settled his cheek against her leg, kissing a line down to her heat. 

            Then one finger dipped in, just enough to feel her arousal, and Cullen groaned. 

            "You're soaked for me," he breathed.  Talia made a noise, half arousal and half encouragement, and her lover suddenly leaned in, his tongue darting into her heat as his fingers gently spread her apart. 

            His lips and tongue explored her folds slowly, learning her body.  He dipped and tasted, the glide of his tongue heavenly.  She could feel him groaning as a flush of heat went through her, no doubt flooding his tongue, and the vibrations tingled through her body.  Urgently he plunged his tongue into her then, and she arched up with a cry.  He dragged his tongue through her folds, seeking the bundle of nerves that was so desperate for his touch. 

            Talia couldn't help her cry when he found it.  This time there was no hesitation, only Cullen sealing his lips around her clit and sucking, sending spirals of pleasure through her body.  He must have enjoyed the noise, for he threaded his tongue through her folds teasingly again before latching onto her clit once more, and Talia nearly screamed. 

            "Maker! Cullen!"  She writhed under him, her hand digging into his curls.  She tried to restrain herself, tried not to pull his hair or force him into her, but she couldn't control her hips, thrusting up into his mouth as he delved into her depths with his tongue.  His hand trailed along her leg, pulling it over his shoulder to get closer. 

            One of his hands dug into the side of her thigh in time with his tongue's movements, the other dropping off her body.  She lost track of it, almost couldn't think with the pleasure of his mouth on her, but managed to crack her eyes open. 

            Cullen's eyes were closed, his mouth pressed into her and pure pleasure on his face.  She could just see the muscles of one shoulder moving, and realized that he must have given into his own lust, touching himself as he touched her.  The realization spurred her lust even higher, and she cried out again.  His other hand moved again, releasing her thigh, and she felt his fingertips dip into her entrance. 

            His lips broke from her then, and she moaned the lack of contact.  "Talia, I want to--" 

            "Yes, don't stop," she begged, cutting him off.  She wasn't positive what she'd given permission for, but in that moment she wouldn't have objected if their decision to take it slow had been revoked; she only cared that he didn't stop. 

            Cullen moaned at her words, his finger plunging into her.  Talia's hips thrust forward just as he dove back in with his mouth, and she threw her head back against the mattress.  The hot, tight stretch of his finger wasn't enough, and she tugged as gently as possible on his hair. 

            "More," she gasped, and he obliged, sliding another finger into her cunt and crooking them in time with his mouth on her clit.  She couldn't help the sound that left her, high and needy, and he sped up.  

            She felt her body go stiff first, her breath catching in her chest, and then her climax thundered through her body.  Cries to Cullen, to the Maker, left her with each wave that washed over her.  Her back arched, her vision going white, her hands clenched around Cullen's head, holding him tight.  He didn't seem to mind, his tongue gliding over her through her orgasm and catching every drop of her juices as he kept her going, wave after wave. 

            Her orgasm finally slowed, leaving tingling tendrils of pleasure arcing through her as Cullen withdrew his fingers and traced lazy lines around her sex with them.  Each movement, his fingers hot and damp, inspired tiny shivers.  He planted a moist kiss on her inner thigh and leaned his cheek against her, smiling. 

            Talia finally sat up, using her leg still around Cullen's shoulder to pull him towards her. 

            "Come here," she whispered, and his smile turned feral.  He pushed himself up, his cock outlined against the tight fabric of his smalls, and crawled over her.  She tilted her hips, catching his erection with the still-pulsing seam of her cunt, and he froze. 

            "Talia," he hissed, and she pushed herself up into him, her breasts against his bare chest.  Her hands slid down his back, sliding between his smalls to grasp his round buttocks, and she yanked him down.  His elbows gave out and he fell against her, hips driving into her.  He let out a moan, his cock twitching.  Keeping her hands firmly on his ass, she rolled them over and immediately slid down his body, her hands smoothly removing his smalls as she reversed their earlier positions.    

            His length sprang free.  Talia licked her lips, studying its weeping head and the heavy sac that hung below it.  Her hands ran up his legs, her fingertips just brushing against him, when Cullen sat up and slid a hand under her chin. 

            "Talia," he said gently, drawing her eyes to him.  "You don't have to do that." 

            She tried to keep her eyes on his, but they were inexorably drawn back to his cock, now jutting out toward her.  A flash of light drew her gaze, and she realized that she could see her juices glistening on Cullen's chin.  She pushed herself up, catching his lips and tasting herself as she kissed him.  Cullen grunted, his cockhead sliding against her clit as she pushed him down with her body.  She sat atop him, her heat pressed against his lower abs, and looked seriously as him. 

            "Do you want me to stop?"  If that's what he wanted, she would in a heartbeat. 

            Cullen's hand drifted to her ass and squeezed.  "Maker, no," he groaned.  "But I don't want you to do anything… because you feel you have to." 

            "Never," she whispered, leaning down to press hot kisses up his neck to his ear.  "I'll do it because I want your cock in my mouth, down my throat."  The desire sprang out of her, almost surprising her with its intensity, and Cullen responded instantly.

            "Maker, I want that," he groaned, and Talia kissed down his chest, following the blush that spread after his admission.  She ran her tongue down the ridge of his abdomen, nipped at his hipbone as she passed, and wrapped her hand around his shaft, squeezing the heavy weight of him in her hand.  His whole body trembled as she stroked him gently.  His hands grasped fruitlessly at the mattress beneath him, and Talia reached up to touch his hand. 

            "Relax, Cullen," she said softly when he lifted his head to meet her eyes.  He gave her a tense smile, features tight, and she let go of him.  Instead, she ran both hands over the hard planes of his abdomen, feeling his muscles coiled beneath her touch.  She kissed his body carefully, reverently, and finally felt him relax a little.  One hand came up to brush through her hair.

            "I am… a little nervous," he admitted, looking away, and she stopped moving.  Shifting so she was back on the bed, Talia lay down beside him, her arm supporting her head. 

            "Talk to me, Cullen," she implored, one hand resting on his chest. 

            "It's just… been a long time since someone cared for me," he said softly, sliding one arm under her shoulders.  "And… I want you so much.  I don't… want it to be over… too, uh, quickly," he said, blushing. 

            Talia carded her fingers through his chest hair and followed the trail down toward his navel.  "I do care for you," she said, kissing him.  "And I want to please you."  Her hand ran through the coarse hair above his shaft before brushing against him. Cullen groaned.    

            "You please me by being here," he breathed, tensing up again.  He took a deep breath, trying to regain control, and kissed her gently.  "I couldn't ask for anything else." 

            "And you don't have to," she replied, her fingers wrapping around him.  She pumped him once, twice, and his eyes drifted closed, his mouth open. 

            "Maker, that…"  he trailed off, groaning as she sped up just a little.  She ran her thumb over his head, catching the pearly precum gathered there.  Cullen thrust up as she slid back down, biting back her own arousal at watching him.  "Don't stop," he gasped as she repeated the action, and she smiled. 

            She sped up, pressing her body against his as she felt herself getting wet again.  Cullen was moaning in earnest now, his cock stiff and tight in her hand.  His hand around her shoulder slid down toward her ass, and she wiggled so he could grab it, his fingers digging into her flesh.  She threw a leg over his thigh, her core against his leg, and he stiffened further in her hand. 

            "Oh Talia," he groaned out.  "You feel… Oh!"  She tightened her grip and moved her wrist, just barely twisting her grip with each stroke, and Cullen threw his head back, his mouth hanging open. 

            "You look so good like this," Talia breathed, leaning in to brush her lips over his ear.  He made a helpless noise when her tongue flicked out over his earlobe, her hand speeding up even more.  She kissed and nibbled at his neck and ears, tongue laving over each bite as she worked his cock. 

            Suddenly Cullen's shoulders went tense under her.  "Oh… I'm close… Talia, please," he begged, and she bit his neck, leaving a red mark. 

            "Come for me, Commander," she whispered, and he gave a grunt, his length swelling in her grip.  Then he cried out, and his release swept over him, his cock pumping hot streams of cum across her hand and his stomach. 

            She kept him going as he came in her arms until finally he went limp.  He breathed heavily for a few moments, chest heaving and eyes clenched closed. 

            Eventually those amber eyes opened and found hers.  They stared at each other for a moment, neither sure what to say, until Cullen grabbed her head and crashed his lips into hers.  His tongue plunged into her mouth, and she eagerly responded, wrapping herself around him. 

            When they broke apart, both now breathing hard, Cullen cuddled her against his chest.  "That was…"  He made a noise when he couldn't finish the thought, kissing the side of her head.

            "A good way to wake up," she supplied, and he chuckled. 

            "Agreed," he said.  They lay together a while, his hand tracing the scars on her shoulders, until Talia yawned. 

            "Tired, Inquisitor?" he teased, and she shoved him playfully. 

            "Some of us woke with the sun, Commander." 

            He sighed with his title.  "I guess I should get up," he said finally, and Talia pushed herself off him. 

            "I didn't keep you from training, did I?" 

            He sat up from under her, reaching for a sheet to clean himself up.  "Perhaps.  But the soldiers won't gripe about a later start.  That, or Bull already got them working."  He tossed the sheet aside and stood, looking around for his clothes. 

            Talia had already pulled on her tank top and now searched in earnest for her leggings.  "You don't regret it, do you?" 

            Cullen turned to her, and he must have seen the fear on her face, for he walked over, the search for a shirt forgotten, and gathered her into his arms.  "Never," he said, pressing a long kiss to her lips.  "Let the soldiers talk.  The only thing I would regret was if there was nothing for them to talk about." 

            She smiled  and kissed him again.  "I'm glad."  They dressed together, Talia delighting in messing up Cullen's hair and he holding her leggings hostage for another kiss.  When they finally climbed down into his office, they clung to each other.  Neither wanted to be the first to go. 

            "Can I see you later?"  Cullen asked when there was no more denying the day awaiting them. 

            "Of course," Talia said, kissing him. "Maybe we can spar this afternoon?"  She winked at him, and a smirk tugged at his scar. 

            "Love to, Inquisitor," he replied.  He squeezed her hand good-bye, and opened the door to the battlements.  She watched him go for a moment, wondering what would happen when his soldiers -- or Bull, Maker forbid -- noticed the bite on his neck.  With a chuckle, she headed out the other door, dropping into stealth to make the trip back over the breezeway.  She wondered why she hadn't thought of that the night before, instead hiding in the shadows, and then remembered the original reason for her late-night visit. 

            She smiled. 

            Sleep-deprived or not, the day didn't seem so daunting now.


End file.
